


James Does Your Fandom; AU Inuyasha Edition

by spiralicious



Series: James Does Your Fandom [3]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: AU, Crack, Gen, James Does Your Fandom, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-29
Updated: 2012-11-29
Packaged: 2017-11-19 21:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiralicious/pseuds/spiralicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James runs into an odd couple at the pet store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	James Does Your Fandom; AU Inuyasha Edition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiramaru7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiramaru7/gifts).



> More of James' fandom misadventures. This time he has been plunked into Kiramaru7's Rock Star AU.

“Collars with little sakura blossoms on them?”

“And these little fish charm bells. It’s just what they need.”

“I don’t see how that is going to help.”

“They’ll feel better about themselves and eat less, Ban honey.”

“I don’t think that is what the vet wanted us to do when he said that Banyruu and Nekozawa needed to lose weight.”

James couldn’t help but be drawn to the odd conversation. He was in the pet shop in the first place to get something for Soma to chew on besides the furniture and to find a small dog pet carrier that did not look like a purse or a baby stroller. All the pink and rhinestones Karl insisted on festooning their spunky little Pomeranian with was bad enough. 

Unfortunately, James was not paying attention to how close he was getting, while fake shopping, to the couple he had dubbed “the midget with the braid and the cross-dresser” he was ease dropping on, and knocked over a cat food display onto the aforementioned cross-dresser. At least it wasn’t cans.

Instantly, James bent down to pick up the packets of food. Considering the look he was getting, perhaps he should have fled instead.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Self-preservation dictated that he bullshit and bullshit quickly. “Look, clearly you guys need some help and I was going to offer you my expertise but wasn’t sure how to approach you.”

“So you dumped cat food all over me?”

“That was an accident but you can’t blame me for being nervous around someone as lovely as you.” James smiled and wondered why he couldn’t be this charming around real women. The death glare he was receiving from the cross-dresser’s companion didn’t let him ponder that long.

“When my cat Whiskey became an indoor cat, he put on a lot of weight. So, I have experience with this and trying to improve their self-esteem won’t help,” he added quickly.

The cross-dresser extended a perfectly manicured hand to tip James’ basket and peer inside. He arched an elegant eyebrow at the selection of pig ears and pieces of deer antlers it contained. “He must be some cat.”

“He is, but those are for my dog.” James quickly pulled out his wallet and flicked out the long row of photos of a massive Maine Coon and a black Pom puppy like a proud parent.

The two of them fussed over the adorableness of the animals in the photos until the short man with a braid cleared his throat. “You were going to help us?”

“Right!” James sprung to action. “Well, first you are going to have to change their food. Any indoor cat formula with have stuff for hairball control and weight loss. See? They list the fat content on the side here.” He brought the bag close so that they could see. “They also all list the feeding guidelines. You want the serving size for weight management. I recommend getting one of these fattier organic brands too. Mix the food together at a ¾ regular food and ¼ fatty organic and keep to the small serving size at meals and they will feel less deprived.” James plopped the two bags of food he was holding into the couple’s cart and excitedly made his way to toys. 

“Another important part is interactive toys.” He continued while hunting through the toys. “These mice are good. There is an assortment and the cats will be attracted to the natural parts. Just sprinkle them around. Oh, and a pig ball! You just fill them up with some catnip, or teeth cleaning treats, or some food to entices them and they bat the balls around, making them work for their goodies. These catnip cigars are great too.” James tossed all the aforementioned items into their cart as he went. “You should be playing with them too. These wacky wands are fun.” He demonstrated the feathery ended fishing poles before quickly adding them to the cart as well. “They might also like chasing a laser pointer.” One of those soon made its way into the cart.

“Is there anything else they might like?” The cross-dresser was clearly entranced by the whirlwind shopping venture. 

His companion clearly had another opinion. “I think he’s helped enough, sweetness.” He gently but insistently led the other man away from the cat toy aisle before he decided to buy the rest of the store.

The cross-dresser waved and shouted a cheeky goodbye complete with a wink while James just stood there waving back like an idiot. 

As soon as they were out of sight, he took a sigh of relief and went back to looking for a dog carrier.


End file.
